You’re gunna miss this… you’re gunna want this back…

As I sat in the nursery last night it hit me how it is such an incredible PRIVILEGE to have become a part of these children's lives, how lucky I am to share in their development  and how it is going to be so ridiculously  hard to say goodbye to them… forever. Soon I will be leaving Haiti, I will be hugging and kissing those babies- setting them down for the last time and saying goodbye to those incredible nannies with whom I have bonded with so much. I will walk out of the nursery for the last time knowing that none of those 4 babies with whom I have worked with for 2 months 6 days a week will ever remember me…. knowing that I will NEVER forget them. I will hug those volunteers and staff at GLA and thank them for their new friendships and their support while I was here…. and I will make the  last drive through devastation and leave my beloved country behind.

I knew this was going to be hard, when I made the decision to come for a much longer stay I knew the goodbyes at the end of it were going to be difficult, but I never could have imagined the love that would grow for not only my assigned children but for all the children at GLA. I have come to know them all so well, I know their personality, I know their likes and dislikes, I know their behaviour patterns and I can recognize their giggles. After dinner last night I sat down on the nursery floor, one of the nannies handed me a bowl of food so as to say “please help” and the first to WALK over to me were my two boys  JR and E, the recognition in their smiles, their initial cuddles and the normalcy of this was incredible. I sat there much longer after dinner with E, he has perfected standing by himself and is trying SO hard to perfect a stable walk, we spent an hour of him crawling away from me and walking back towards me with the PROUDEST SMILE, ending with the biggest hug… I’m gunna miss this!

There are so many of these moments I am going to miss, JR’s mischievous smile as he tests his limits and then melts your heart with a snuggle. W’s growth and development after so many hours of consistent work, I am going to miss her standing alone, I am going to miss her first steps, and I am going to miss those wide mouth gummy smiles every time she looks at me. I am going to miss E walking everywhere, I am going to miss his huge smile and loving hugs, I am going to miss his busy personality and his curious behaviour. I am going to miss see B grow up, I am going to miss his spontaneous grins, I am going to miss his big eyes and his round little belly…. I am going to miss him.

I am going to miss every ONE of those babies in the nursery, I know they are in incredible hands and I hope to find peace with that very fact as I prepare to leave and struggle with the goodbyes.

I am going to miss “this”!