A view worth capturing

I haven’t taken many pictures lately, everything is starting to feel routine. But this view is worth capturing… the view from my roof

Its in my hands… literally!

In many ways I am a realist… ‘need to see it to believe it’ kind of girl.

But this week when I sat down with an astrologist to have my palm read…. I waivered (slightly) in my stronghold on realism.

Astrology is deeply entrenched in the Hindu customs here in India, marriages are arranged, weddings booked (down to the exact time)  based on the alignment of the planets (among many other things). Astrologists are ‘called’ to the profession and it is a lifelong journey to become attuned.

Although intrigued, I actually needed to test out this practice for a potential programming piece for upcoming adult groups visiting India- all in a days work!

This professional palm reader was just that, very professional, well spoken and very informative. He spent quite some time explaining to the practice, his passion and the steps involved. He asked me a number of questions (# of siblings, favourite colour and number etc.) and based on the exact time he created a chart that outlined the planets arrangements in my present life. Now I am simplifying this; but from the end result he was able to tell me that the last month has been a very stressful and challenging  month- heck yes! (among a couple of other things). He told me he would be able to give me MORE information if I could recall my exact birth time (which would help him determine the planet alignment at that time) which of course I couldn't- will need to ask Momma Bear that question.

Then he asked me to turn over my palm of my dominant hand.

He examined my finger length and palm size, the cushy parts of my palm, certain lines and even my nail beds. We had a very interesting conversation- a couple highlights…

1. He told me that I am inclined to give 100% to every relationship, because of this and the time and energy it requires I need to be selective in my friendships to ensure it is reciprocated. (My friends have been MORE than I can ask for since I moved- but noted!)

2. He said I have strong leadership capabilities, a dominance in my profession and ability to manage others- when I reach 28+ I will have even bigger opportunities to lead. (Bring it on!)

3. He told me when I settle down with my partner it will be a long lasting partnership that is cool and calm. (Even when I asked he couldn't tell me when I would find this partner- but assured me it could happen anytime after August 6th)

4. He told me I will never have to really worry about money or employment- opportunities will always come my way- he predicted I would be working in social work/welfare. (Phew!)

5. He told me my palm indicate good health well into my 80’s 

6. He told me I need to slow down on decision making, don’t rush the process and look at all sides of a scenario.  (Noted!)

7. He told me my emotions/ reactions were readily available to others- SO true, I can be read like a book (not ALWAYS a fault… right?).

8. He asked me if I believe in ghosts- because he felt as though I have some special spirits around me who are available to guide me. (Grumpa & Gramma I sure hope it is you!)

I have deemed this overall a worthwhile exercise…although I remain slighty sceptical I am intrigued!

All in a days work!

A reason to celebrate

Despite the craziness that is trip season preparation- last night our team paused to celebrate the new marriage of one of our team members- Shoaib.

For many in the office this was their first Muslim wedding- it was my first EVER Indian wedding. I had no idea what to expect, what to wear, how to act or how to prepare and truthfully with my incredible work load I hadn’t put much thought into it until 1 day before…..

Wednesday Mona scooted me off to her family's shop to help me pick out an outfit  on our lunch hour (also my first ride on a motorized scooter here in India ykes!).

The shop was stocked floor to ceiling with textiles, I was overwhelmed- what colour? what pattern? We all know I HATE making decisions. We finally decided on a beautiful maroon sari after I made Mona promise me that the pattern was age appropriate- how am I to know?  They measured me up and sent me on my way.

Thursday (the day of the big event) I powered through a crazy/frustrating/busy day and flew out of the office at 6 pm to go get ready- who has a wedding on a weekday?!  Mona graciously arranged for her mom to help me wrap the sari as I had not the slightest clue.

Step 1: Putting on the top and skirt

Step 2: Wrapping the sari in a incredibly complicated way and pinning me in place!

Step 3: Activate what gracefulness I have in me…

Step 4: Go to the wedding!

It looked beautiful, I felt beautiful… until we reached the wedding and were outside in the hot humid night and I started to sweat….. and continued to sweat until I took it off a couple hours later.

The wedding was interesting, such a grand event…. but with surprisingly very little activity. For whatever reason I expected music, singing, dancing…. liveliness. But in reality two pairs of brides/grooms sat on a stage (Shoaib and his bride, his sister and her groom- dual wedding). The women with the heads slightly lowered (looking meek and timid- intentionally) and their grooms sitting straight and attentive beside them. They sat there the ENTIRE NIGHT, as the guests made their way up-  passed on their gift and posed for a photo. The guests were then free to roam about and collect dinner from the stalls set up within the wedding grounds.

I am told this is 1 of potentially 4 events and this event was not the one for dancing and music… it was just one big “receiving line” event. Nevertheless I was enthralled with the scene- taking in the sights, the outfits, and the interactions.

I didn't capture many pictures (or “snaps” as they call them here)… it hardly seemed appropriate as no one else had a camera out but I did get a couple.

Some of the beautiful women I work with.

And the handsome men!

Mona and Antima looking beautiful in their sari’s. Sadly I didn’t get a solo shot…but will have to find another excuse to put it on again :)

A Sunday Stroll

My Sunday consisted of wandering around the city, anxious for new scenery, aimlessly meandering down busying streets and side alleys.

For the most part I have no problem walking the streets, I know to yield to the left when I hear a honk, I know to look where I step to avoid piles of cow dung and I know how to get to point B from point A without looking lost.

But the obvious yet ‘normal’ issues that await around every corner will never become familiar for me. Familiarity breads comfort- nothing about this is comfortable.

Not 5 minutes into my walk I am chased after by a couple kids, no older than  8 or 9 who have the look in their eyes that they have seen more hardship than I could ever imagine.  They couldn’t help but see hope in my blond hair and white skin. “10 rupees?”

Another couple minutes down the road I am coming up on a little guy and his sister trying their hardest to herd half a dozen donkeys loaded down with concrete rubble. The little guy unloaded each one, smacks them on their rear ends. hops onto the slowest donkey and yells for them to get going. Isn’t Sunday suppose to be a day of rest?

I swerve to avoid the meandering cows, listen for the motorbikes whisking by and nod my head as each of them shares a greeting. I have my Ipod in, a young guy comes up beside me- maybe 12 or 13. After attempts to squeeze me out of a few rupees fails him, he asks to listen to my music. Even though he couldn’t understand the words- I was still a little embarrassed I was bobbing out to Robin. He listens for a couple minutes gives it back to me- no doubt uninterested in 90’s pop music  he smiles up at me and we part ways at the next fork.

‘Hello’s, ‘Where are you from’s’, ‘How are you’s’, ‘What's your name’s ‘are in abundance. I have never been revered as so interesting in my life. After weeks of entertaining each and every greeting and questions  I feel like a broken record.  If only I could send out a PSA to all of Udaipur-

[“HELLO! I am from Canada, I am not a tourist, I am good and my name is Brittnei.”]

Who am I kidding- I am not THAT interesting. But seriously…there is no blending in for this girl, is it the blond hair? the lack of Hindi or the blinding white skin?

My first stop was to my favourite restaurant. Tucked back where few tourists reach I have found a haven of healthy food, hippy vibes and comfortable seating.

Where I sat for some quite time- reflecting on the crazy weird life I am currently leading and enjoying some GOOD cheap food!

The results of a leisurely Sunday stroll. Just wanted to share a little bit of it with you!

It ain’t easy

India is the most complicated country I have ever stepped foot in. The more I learn about this country, its culture and its people, the less I know.

Aside from the simple gesture of physically signing that contract a couple months back, nothing else has come easy. Not the relationships, not the job, not the transition- not even sleeping, eating, cooking or exercising. It just ain’t that easy.

Needless to say, the last month has been difficult for many reasons. And after days of not feeling like myself I knew I desperately needed a ‘check’.I needed someone to validate all of the emotions running through me and then feed me some tough love.

Thankfully my wish was granted. I had the opportunity to connect with an organizational consultant who specializes in leadership and professional development.

After 45 minutes of talking he was able to get to the bottom of some of my stress/ anxiety/frustration and give me some ‘assignments’ that will hopefully give me a boost.

Having travelled to India on a number of occasions he described it as a wave, if I try to fight the wave I am going to get knocked over…. flattened. BUT if I dive down into it, I will always come up on the other side. CHECK!

He followed this up with , “Is patience a virtue of yours?”…. everything in me wanted to say “YES, OF COURSE!” but lets be real—I AM NOT PAITENT. He went onto highlight the importance of practicing patience in a country as complicated and unique as the one I am working in.

How?

Remind myself I have 2 ears and 1 mouth- listen twice as much as I talk and maybe that growing list of ‘things ill never understand’ will get smaller and smaller over time. Keep a daily log of what I have learnt about my new role and/or India and another log of 5 things daily I am grateful for/ or think I did well that day.

“Remember NOTHING eternal is at stake here”- Spinoza

Lastly, he shared a powerful poem with me, I closed my eyes- it was written for a completely different context but it might as well have been about India written for me. .

Stand still. The trees ahead and the bushes beside you are not lost. Wherever you are is called here and you must treat it as a powerful stranger and ask permission to know it and be known.

Listen. The forest breathes and whispers around it and says I have made this place around you. If you leave it you may come back again saying, 'here'. No two trees are the same to raven. No two branches to wren. If what a tree or what a branch does is lost on you, then you are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you. -David Wagoner

He summed up our conversation saying, “ India knows where you are, you must let it find you”.

I left the office on a high, SO thankful for that conversation. Only to be attacked by a pack of dogs. They didn't make contact- I am in one piece- but was scared s**tless. [ Test #897- HAVE PAITENCE].

Slow down, have patience, trust you are meant to be here. Smile.

I can do this. “ Start where you are. Use what you’ve got. Do what you can.”