It ain’t easy

India is the most complicated country I have ever stepped foot in. The more I learn about this country, its culture and its people, the less I know.

Aside from the simple gesture of physically signing that contract a couple months back, nothing else has come easy. Not the relationships, not the job, not the transition- not even sleeping, eating, cooking or exercising. It just ain’t that easy.

Needless to say, the last month has been difficult for many reasons. And after days of not feeling like myself I knew I desperately needed a ‘check’.I needed someone to validate all of the emotions running through me and then feed me some tough love.

Thankfully my wish was granted. I had the opportunity to connect with an organizational consultant who specializes in leadership and professional development.

After 45 minutes of talking he was able to get to the bottom of some of my stress/ anxiety/frustration and give me some ‘assignments’ that will hopefully give me a boost.

Having travelled to India on a number of occasions he described it as a wave, if I try to fight the wave I am going to get knocked over…. flattened. BUT if I dive down into it, I will always come up on the other side. CHECK!

He followed this up with , “Is patience a virtue of yours?”…. everything in me wanted to say “YES, OF COURSE!” but lets be real—I AM NOT PAITENT. He went onto highlight the importance of practicing patience in a country as complicated and unique as the one I am working in.

How?

Remind myself I have 2 ears and 1 mouth- listen twice as much as I talk and maybe that growing list of ‘things ill never understand’ will get smaller and smaller over time. Keep a daily log of what I have learnt about my new role and/or India and another log of 5 things daily I am grateful for/ or think I did well that day.

“Remember NOTHING eternal is at stake here”- Spinoza

Lastly, he shared a powerful poem with me, I closed my eyes- it was written for a completely different context but it might as well have been about India written for me. .

Stand still. The trees ahead and the bushes beside you are not lost. Wherever you are is called here and you must treat it as a powerful stranger and ask permission to know it and be known.

Listen. The forest breathes and whispers around it and says I have made this place around you. If you leave it you may come back again saying, 'here'. No two trees are the same to raven. No two branches to wren. If what a tree or what a branch does is lost on you, then you are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows where you are. You must let it find you. -David Wagoner

He summed up our conversation saying, “ India knows where you are, you must let it find you”.

I left the office on a high, SO thankful for that conversation. Only to be attacked by a pack of dogs. They didn't make contact- I am in one piece- but was scared s**tless. [ Test #897- HAVE PAITENCE].

Slow down, have patience, trust you are meant to be here. Smile.

I can do this. “ Start where you are. Use what you’ve got. Do what you can.”